As Seen On TV

On our wedding night, after we had settled in at our hotel, counted our loot, and retired to bed, Gavan and I found it impossible to fall asleep. Not because we were, uh...never mind - but because our brains were still full of adrenaline from having had such an exciting, lovely wedding. So, intent upon relaxing, we flipped on the TV in our pretty large and luxurious suite and tried to find something to watch before we drifted off to la la land. What we discovered, at 4:30am that morning, is that there is not a thing on hotel TV in these early morning hours, besides infomercials. Having not eaten very much that night, the brownie pan, pizza stone, Nuwave Oven Pro and Magic Bullet, broadcast to us in all their gooey chocolaty, cheesy, chicken-y, salsa-y goodness, started to make us very hungry. While my darling new husband eventually fell asleep, I ended up ordering room service somewhere in the 5 o'clock hour.

Now that there's a munchkin in our family, I've woken up hundreds of times at odd hours of the night and because of this, have watched thousands more infomercials than anyone should ever, ever, be allowed to. If it were not for streaming Netflix, I might still be watching late night infomercials. But I digress.

I thought in this blog post, I'd give you my real take on a few, choice, As Seen On TV items (henceforth referred to here as ASOTV) - products I've actually TRIED. Yes, this post comes with the admission that not only have I watched the infomercials, I've also bought ASOTV products. In my defense, they've mostly been bought from CVS - and only one time over the phone ( it was a gift!). Every CVS has that one aisle, hidden in the back somewhere, probably leased by the ASOTV folks, with all the products you see on those long, late night infomercials. Its one of my guilty pleasures, and apparently (though I never realized til today) my husbands as well, to visit this aisle, with all its promise and possibilty, and, if the moment is right, to sneak away with something I might possibly, maybe, not need so much. So from our family to yours, in this season of hope and giving, here are some reviews of ASOTV products we've tried:

The Pasta Pro

In our college years we could not afford both Pot AND Strainer (AND Beer) - so what better invention for us than the Pasta Pro pot and strainer in one?

No joke, this thing is diesel. It gets 5 stars. Though you have to be careful when draining the water not to scald yourself (think wide arms when pouring) - otherwise its a solid invention. I don't know what ever happened to the pots, as they are no longer in our possession, nor do I remember if we bought them or if Gavan's roommate and friend Dan actually bought them, but this is probably the best ASOTV product I've ever used. College Students - buy this.

The Twin Draft Guard

The twin draft guard, while keeping cool air from flowing through the large opening under our back porch door, is ugly. It also slides out of place constantly. Having two dogs means that this thing collects a ton of dog hair. And dirt. I wash it as often as I can, but its dirty the next day - and I sweep my floors people! Sometimes. Anyway, Gavan would probably give this product a thumbs up because he doesn't clean it, nor care if it's clean, and if its purpose was to be a an extremely ugly, dirty, shifty, door jam, I would too.

The Half Time Drill Driver

After spending our wedding night watching infomercials, how appropriate that this year, for our anniversary, I should get Gavan an ASOTV product he's seen and loved for quite some time - The Half Time drill / driver. The animation to the left sort of illustrates what this one is all about - its a combo bit that you can swivel between a drill and a driver without taking off the bit itself. Gav was very excited about this, saying how much he wanted it every time it came on television, and how great it would be to be able to switch easily between drill and driver without having to take the bit out every time, what with all the handyman work he does around our house. I just called to ask him what he thought of the product for the purpose of my blog (our anniversary was on Oct 11th) and his response was "Haven't used it yet." Huh!

The Gyro Bowl

This bowl looks like every mother's dream. A bowl that essentially, doesn't spill, but instead rotates to stand upright even when your precious' little arms don't. Gavan picked this one up from CVS. The Gyro Bowl fits right into the "If Its Too Good To Be True It Probably Is" category. In its first use Lachlan discovered its gyrating qualities and promptly whipped it around the room as fast as he could, until something finally flew out. I was slightly impressed that it took as long as it did (2 mins) for something to fall out, and would have kept using it, had Lachlan not, at that moment, ripped the middle bowl right out of the device with a small tug. We now have a small, sad, rounded bottom, yellow bowl that does not sit upright, in the cupboard. I have also discovered, through a mom friend, these things work wonders and are a much better investment.

Well, there you have it. There are several other ASOTV products I am looking forward to being disappointed by - the Magic Mesh, the Perfect Meatloaf pan, the Vidalia Chop Wizard to name a few. But in all honesty, this blog post is purely selfish in its intention - I really just want someone to finally buy me a Snuggie for Christmas. Or Pajama Jeans.